For Kuro

It feels like we just met

Seventeen years ago

I insisted I did not like cats

You didn’t seem to care about that

You wrapped your paws around my neck

Buried your face in mine

You became my boy that day

 

You were quiet at first, often hiding

Your brother, Aoshi, the loud one, the outgoing one

You so gentle and soft, quiet and affectionate

When he died all that changed

 

You were there, we made sure of it

You cuddled with him a bit, not quite knowing

Soon it dawned when we went home

and he stayed behind

 

You understood soon enough

Then something amazing happened

You came out, were loud, and demanded attention

You had taken your brother’s place

 

My sweet boy

You crawled into laps and curled into chests

You whined loud enough to wake the dead at mealtime

You purred so loud I could feel it when we cuddled

 

Weeks have passed since we saw each other

This damn isolation

You recognized me on the screen when I called

Purred and nuzzled the screen

 

Your Mom called me

You had taken a turn for the worst

Despite good food, medicine, and care

Nothing else could be done

 

I ran home, up the stairs

So small, so tired

You stared at me with your beautiful green eyes

You held on for me

 

O my sweet boy

I held you and I know you knew

I heard your gasping meow

I felt your sweet, slow heart

 

It ripped at me to see you like this

Yet blessed too

You held on for me

So I could hold you

 

We prayed, all of us, your Mom and I

To Freyja, to Bast, to Sekhmet, to Hela

That your death was as painless as could be

That it was quick

That your brother walked with you at the end

That you know we love you

 

An hour later the call came through

You were dead, your pain at an end

My eyes filled with tears

My heart with sorrow, prayers answered

 

I ache that this was the first time I saw you

In eight weeks

But blessed to see you

Before you had to go

 

Rest well my sweet boy

Rest and know we hear you

Walk with your brother and Ancestors

Visit us when you can

I love you, Kuro

Coffee with the Ancestors and Gods

Something I have not done in a very long time is sat down to coffee with my Ancestors and Gods.  I did it tonight/this morning, after taking care of the offerings and laying out fresh ones otherwise, all water, except for the stick of incense I left at the altars for the Ancestors, for the Dead and for the Gods.

I had two stools that belonged to people who are family to me, gifted to me before they took off for California.  One stool holds a Native American head carved into an arm-sized log that I give offerings to as representative of some of the Native Ancestors in the ways I have been brought into.  A while back I had used the other stool as part of an Ancestor elevation working, but it has sat in a corner since.  Tonight, I brought up some coffee my wife had brewed earlier in the day.  At first, I was going to sit on the floor at the Ancestor altar.  I couldn’t see many of Them from down there, and besides, They wanted to see me too.  So I dusted off the old stool, and sat at the Ancestor altar, lighting the candles in Ask and Embla’s tree candle-holders.

At first it was just…quiet, meditative even, serving Them coffee then myself.  I usually drink my coffee with non-dairy sweetener like Coffee Mate or something like that, but it didn’t seem right in this context.  So, I sat and drank my black coffee, and talked with the Ancestors about the week I’d been having, thanking Them for Their support, that kind of thing.  Mostly it was quiet, just being in one another’s Presence.  When it was over, and I thanked Them for coffee with me, I blew out the candles, and later lit some incense.  I walked away from Their altar with a sense of peace and being cared for.

My experience with the Gods was similar, but even more silence, being quite brief with my end of talking, mostly thanking Them for Their Presence and blessings on my family, and helping me through the last week.  It was mostly quiet, and considering the Work I’ve been doing for Them of late, I was okay with that.  I left Their altar, after lighting incense for Them, with a sense of peace, but it…was deep.  More than a sense of peace, really.  A sense of rightness, even with all the challenges I and my family are facing right now.

I got the message to clean my cups out after each time with the Ancestors then Gods, and returned the cup to the altar, my cup’s holder facing me, and Theirs to Them.   It looks like both sets of Holy Powers want this to be a more regular thing, so here’s a cup to a new tradition I’ll be keeping.  Thanks for the inspiration from a while back, Jim.  It proved a powerful, simple connection, one that I really needed.