I Ask You

Is this how you feel

Having watch the world turned,

The Worlds burned

In vision tortured

Without distortion?

Is this how you feel,

this deep-seated pain

like a knife when you see

the cycles ’round again?

Is this how you feel

As grief heaps up

And all that lies before

and behind, your son?

Is this how you feel

That your stand still must be made,

Before the mouth?

Is this how you feel

Melancholic resolve forged in pain of love?

Is this how you feel?

The #DoMagick Challenge Day 17

Teiwaz

Teiwaz (Wikimedia Commons)

Today I did galdr with Teiwaz.

I cleansed with Sacred Fire after making the Fire Prayer.  I settled deep, deep into meditation headspace today.  I had done a brief but potent bit of exercising just before coming home and jumping into doing the Runework.  I may repeat this because the result was several moments of connection with the Rune and a kind of disconnect from myself.  Not in a “I have lost myself” but more of a “getting lost in the Rune moreso than usual”.

The first round of galdr brought the experience of The Binding of Fenris, of Fenris biting off Tyr’s hand, with myself being in both roles one after the other.  It was intense, and to this end I will say no more.  The next part of the first round brought with it the holding of a spear before a wall, before a town with farmsteads behind.  Not merely standing, but seeing a threat coming and readying to do something about it, spear in one hand and shield in the other alongside fellows forming a wall of shields and spears.  The last part of the first round was a sword being unsheathed, a spear being held for combat, grit teeth and flashing, then bloodied steel.

The second round of galdr brought with it the feeling of the home, of doing well in the community.  The next part of the second round I experienced a holmgang to defend myself in a matter.  What seemed to matter in what Teiwaz showed me here was not the end, but that I stood up in the sacred space and took to my duty.  I did not see how the fight ended up.  In the final galdr of this round I was sitting as a chieftain in the hall, a fight ready to break out between two families.  It was the act of putting away the swords I was meant to see: the judicious use of violence and force, and the force that can make these things come forth or retreat.

The third round of galdr was very heady.  I fell into and out of being able to articulate what I was experiencing.  I think the closest I can come to is experiencing the meaning of it, God or Gods.  Like dipping into the current of meaning and power there.  As I galdred further, this connected feeling swelled and I was being overwhelmed by the Rune.  It was like swimming in Its power, Its Being.  As I finished the heady feeling stopped crashing over me, and I slowly came back to myself.

I did my prayers of thanks to Rúnatýr and the Runevaettir.  I cleansed with the candle and prayed prayers of thanks to the Eldest Ancestor.  I am still a bit blown away by Teiwaz’s response.

Link to the Daily Ritual for the Challenge.

#DoMagick

Loki Project Day 23

I am weary in my bones, Flame-hair

My mind buzzes with worry

My soul is troubled

 

Did You once worry as I do

for my son?

Did You ask Yourself

If You did right by Your Blessed Children?

 

You loved Them

As others called Your children

Monster!

Vile!

Dangerous!

As some still do

Your love endures

May my son know love

As enduring as Yours

In the face of all who will hate him

For his looks

For his words

For his actions

For his path

For who he loves

 

May I learn patience from You

When my son is distant

And I have a mind to be distant

 

May I learn patience from You

When my son rages

And I have a mind to rage in kind

 

May I learn patience from You

When my son seeks the hard truths

And I have a mind to sugar coat

 

May I learn patience from You

When my son is consumed in pain

And I have a mind to succumb to grief

 

May I learn patience from You

When my son is beyond my reach

And I have a mind to worry without end

 

Hail Loki Laufeyson, Mother and Father

Lover of Svalðilfari

Husband of Sigyn and Angrboda

Mother of Sleipnir

Father of Hel

Father of Jörmungandr

Father of Fenris

Father of Narvi

Father of Vali

Mother of Many

Father of Many

May I be a father worthy of the word