Sometimes, spiritwork is hard. It can be hard to want to do the daily work, to want to do the daily prayers, to want to do the work that is ours to do. It can be hard to find the motivation, let alone the energy to do all that can be asked of us.
A lot of us spiritworkers are hard on ourselves. Trying to do more with less. Less sleep, time to ourselves, self-care. We want to do more of the thing that pushes us to wake up and (eventually) go to bed. The spiritwork itself is hard enough. What makes it harder, or at least puts barriers in front of the motivation, is all the stuff I have to do in front of and behind the spiritwork that makes sitting down to it that much harder.
There is also no denying that many spiritworkers are burning not only their own candle at both ends, they’re sometimes switching tea lights to keep the fire going. I have had times like that. Some of it is the absolutely toxic work ethic in the United States. Some of it is my upbringing. I have written on this blog before on what a hamstringing effect feeling like you have to be ‘productive’ all the time can be.
So how to get beyond that? To a certain extent I recognize that getting ‘beyond’ the United States’ obsession with burying its working class is not going to happen anytime soon, at least on a societal scale. To a certain degree, it’s the climax of Wargame: the only way to win is not to play. Sometimes I lack the willpower to do that. So, I work with the impulse. I reframe rest as offering or work itself so that when I am called to work, I can do it. Sometimes this works, and sometimes I stare at the ceiling because anxious brain weasels are assholes.
To this end binaural beats, rain sounds, crackling fires, and other such videos and sound makes up my YouTube Meditation and Relaxation playlist. Sometimes this works. Sometimes I am staring at the ceiling as my ears are full of sound. There are going to be times when, no matter how much deep breathing after cleansing, grounding, centering, shielding, and other work you do, you are just not going to sleep. When I am like this I take the time to rest anyway, just so my body is not moving, my brain is not spinning on projects or anxiety.
It is very easy to write these words and far harder to do them. Pushing yourself to rest is a kind of discipline, and it is one I am still learning how to do. Sometimes video games in bed, eg my Switch or my phone, helps this. Sometimes it gets right in the way. So, I need to be adaptable. More often than not if I start to read I will want to stay up to finish the book, so I tend not to read. It usually does not put me to sleep; it stimulates.
There is no small amount of self-control, self-awareness, and self-discipline that a spiritworker needs to cultivate. The thing, though, is not to fool ourselves that there is ‘an end’ to this. There will be setbacks, times where, no matter how much effort I put forward the thing at hand will not be done. I also need to not excuse this, just to acknowledge I have failed to do it, that it this does not make me a terrible spiritworker or anything else, and to get back on the proverbial horse the next day.
Ginnreginn all know this far easier to write than it is to put into practice. It still needs to be done.
There will always be Work to do. There will always be things that need doing, whether the chores or the obligations, the little things or the big things. The best I can do is all I can do, and from there on, as best as I can, I have patience with myself.
Spiritwork is hard and gratifying. It is a real blessing to be able to do. It is a beautiful thing to watch as someone develops their practice, or asks for help in building a new relationship with their Gods, Ancestors, spirits, or all three. It is a powerful experience to feel Them so close, to experience Their Presence, and to facilitate Work that will bring others to that. It is wonderful to partner with the Ginnreginn to do the Work.
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