Loki Project Day 5

When I first came across You, I was fearful.  I did not know you, save that Your name was whispered with hesitation, that you were a thing to propitiate and leave alone.  You were not welcome in circle, nor hof nor any place sacred.  You were the Destroyer, the Mischief-Maker, the Hell=on=Wheels.  Your name was feared, despised, and unwelcome.  It was all I knew of You.

Thank You for opening my eyes and heart to truth.  Thank You for showing me more of Your Grace, Your gentleness, more, at times, than I feel I deserve.  You, as sure as Odin, took me under Your wing, though I did not know it at the time.  But of course, what is given to one must be given to the other.  You taught me You are compassionate as sure as You are silver-tongued, as raging as You can be a font of peace, a warm Fire that warms the soul or an explosion that scours the soul clean.  You taught me more about myself than I had known, though I railed against the lessons.  You opened my eyes, through Your Loves, Your Wives, Your own patient ways, to a God and to the Worlds in ways I would never have seen on my own.

You allowed me in, to come to know You.  I look on You as a friend, loved one, Uncle.  I look on You as One Who Has Suffered for the Truth; the Divine Whistleblower.  Each steps where someone gained from You, You suffered.  Your belly quickened with Sleipnir, each of Your children You lost to the Aesir, You spoke truths and not only were You punished for it, but Your Wife, and Your Children were.  At first, I did not see how well You understood when I suffered, or when I raged that I could not be with my child.  I did not see your compassion when I cried; I saw a smartass, heard a joker.  For so long I did not let myself see anything beyond the Joker, the Searing Flame, the Trickster.

I can only ask your forgiveness for the wrongs I have done You, for my slander, for my blindness, for my childish ranting and raving as You tried, as gently as You could, to lead me down the paths I needed to go.  I am sorry.

I now speak Your Name with love on my lips and in my soul.  I come to know you better bit by bit, sometimes stumbling, others falling as I walk along the paths before me.  You could have destroyed me in the fire, eaten my body for my wrongs.  Yet, you stayed Your rage from that, and I still ran foolishly where you told me not to.  Yet, again, when You could have demanded so much of me, You demanded I learn.  When I could have given up, you demanded determination.  When I wanted to stop, You demanded I keep moving forward.  Thank You, Loki.  Hail to You, Loki.  Let it never be said You know neither Patience or Love; You have had both in abundance in me.