Daily Rune Reading and Reflection: Struggling With Yourself
Daily Rune: Thurisaz
Outworking Rune: Kenaz
Results Rune: Thurisaz
Today seemed to be chaotic. Nothing I drew was merkstave, but it was a chaotic day nonetheless, if for nothing else than my memory. I need to knuckle down and really use the materials I have at my disposal and work with my auditory LD. This is something I’ve struggled with for years, that and my anger issues which ebb and flow.
In coming to energy work and working through techniques like grounding and centering, the ability to calm myself and retain information has become a much easier process. In being able to let go of ‘excess’, either background noise or interference or stuff like that, it becomes easier to understand, and likewise to confront myself. The problem is that sometimes emotions simply erupt and say a hearty ‘Fuck you’ to the hard work and conditioning you’ve pushed yourself through. I think that, sometimes, we just plain fail. So the second Thurisaz, to me, does make sense.
Thor, in my view, struggles with Himself and has for awhile. His anger, his pride, they bear on Him and have pushed Him to do rather stupid things. His sheer ability to whack anything with Mjollnir when a problem presents itself is a sore temptation, one that He has exercised to his detriment and his benefit. He loves as fierce as he fights, and he rages as much as he can be jovial. Once that trigger is flipped, sometimes it is hard to turn that off. He comes by it honestly; one of the heiti of Thor’s father, Odin, is the God of berserkers. Like Thor, dealing with my shortcomings are as much struggling against myself as against the circumstances. The runes are telling me to keep it up as much as my heart is. So, I will do what I can and make myself better today than I did yesterday.