Thoughts and Emotions
Usually I have the answer for my emotional ills at the drop of a hat. I’ve done a lot of what I call “mind-diving”, going back into my past and going back through key moments of pain, analyzing the absolute hell out of them. Through this, I find and illuminate all the little points I find back to how they developed, where they came from, from whom, and, even if I don’t in-the-moment want to know the answers, I usually do. I don’t often have emotional situations where I’m not at least partially conscious of where it comes from.
It’s not that I’m picture-perfect, because I’m quite a ways from it. It’s that I don’t often have these times where I’m just emotional and I can’t get a reason for why, or an inference from myself as to what in the nine Hels is going on. I ask and I probe, and I can’t shake how I feel, and I don’t even get why I’m here. A feeling somewhere between anger and depression. I’ve banished, I’ve done deep-breath work, but I just can’t shake this mood, and it sucks. Even the best of us, and I don’t think I’m ‘the best’ or close to it, have problems working through stuff. For me, its times like this, or when I let my emotions translate themselves into anger or frustration with no filtering through as to what they really are.
I’ll be talking with my Gods, spirits, and doing some personal work tonight to filter through this.
Rune Reading: So I picked out Peorth and Teiwaz. The first is the rune of mystery, birth, and words. The latter is Teiwaz, the rune of sacrifice, of justice, and Tyr. So from this, it would seem my issue is either a mystery related to sacrifice or injustice, or that I’m not speaking and being just in something. I’ll have to think and deliberate on this.